Exhaustion Is Difficult To Conquer
I am struggling with finding the words to write during this intensely exhaustive time I am in. I want to write my way through this time because it provides healing and clarity to my thoughts but where are my words hiding?
I have been thinking of some amazing topics to write about, but when I sit down to put them on paper, I totally draw a blank. I search my memory, but I can’t find them.
When I went into January I knew it was going to be a trying month at best and was concerned how I was going to survive and here I am. I wish I could say that I have triumphed this serious obstacle with much grace, but this isn’t feeling very graceful or pretty. Twenty-seven days later and I am exhausted, worried, frazzled, discouraged, and just worn out completely.
This is an abbreviated break down of what my month has looked like. I have managed to get my daughter’s blood work done to rule out a fatigue disorder, 2 sinus balloon surgeries (which she is still struggling to heal from), she will begin her immunity testing this coming week as well as a month’s worth of weekly allergy shots. This is just her.
Next comes my husband who has also had several doctor appointments to prepare him for surgery next week. I would not recommend this schedule for anyone who wants to be sane afterwards. I would also not recommend it for the person who lacks a solid support system.
Oh my gosh, to say please stop the train and let me off is an understatement. This schedule has been so intense but thankfully it is almost over. If this all comes together in the end, both my husband and my daughter will be recovered by mid February. I am hoping by getting all of this done, their health issues will drastically decrease thus giving them both some quality of life again.
I have been carrying the load for both of them for a long time. I haven’t been able to look to them for any help I have needed. I am their helper all the time. Hopefully by conquering this struggle now, a better quality of life will come to all of us.
I am not sure if this helps you to understand why I haven’t written anything this week, but know when this journey has been finished you will see me more. I just have to get through about two more weeks before life slows down long enough for me to think again.
I continue to ask for your patience as I continue to work on getting my blog up and running more consistently.